Some things are just incomprehensible to us, for example, why velour suits? Why so many fat people in Santa Clarita? Who is still buying Westlife albums?

And why, why, WHY would Britney want ANOTHER child?

Let’s just take a look at the situation here.

She has two children. Not to mention the ex-step children. Not to mention the dogs, which she clearly feels more responsibility for than her OWN boys. One might think she wishes she never had them, that they’re a nuisance to her and she was too young and inexperiences when she did have them.

So what on earth kind of sense does it make to add ANOTHER child to this diabolical drunken drug-taking rehab familial discord-laden mix?

Well, according to a source, Britney has not only been reckless with her birth control, she’s also been sleeping around and may, this very moment, be pregnant.

Life & Style says, “She’s slept with pal Sam Lutfi, some friends believe, and her friend claims Britney and producer JR Rotem have been “hooking up.” “When her friends ask if she’s being safe, Britney says it’s just casual sex,” says the friend. “She seems to think that just because she isn’t in a formal relationship, she’s somehow immune to getting pregnant.”

Britney, don’t do it! For all our sakes.

Britney Fuckupometer: CODE RED! 

In case anyone is wondering exactly why Britney lost the kids, it’s because she didn’t take the random drug and alcohol test ordered by the court - and she couldn’t provide a valid California drivers license.

Attorney Sorrell Trope says, “We weren’t able to prove compliance with what the judge ordered. Specifically the judge ordered that by 10 am (Monday) morning, both parties show valid California driving licenses. I’ve been unable to produce evidence of that.”

Well, she has the license now - just slightly too late! Come on Britney, wake up!

BRITNEY FUCKUPOMETER: CODE RED 

Well this is going to come as absolutely no surprise to anyone - a Superior Court Judge has ordered that physical custody of Britney and Kevin’s sons will go to Kevin.

According to L.A. County Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon, Kevin “is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 PM until further order of the court.”

So this means Britney still has visitation rights but will no longer be the primary provider for the kids.

In case anyone is wondering, immediately before she handed the boys over Britney took them through a Carls Jr drive thru. Which isn’t the most convenient way to hand your children over to someone, is it?

Not that I think she did that deliberately, mind you - she just doesn’t think that far ahead. I’m sure Kevin had fun wiping the ketchup off their clothes and juggling their Coke cups into the car.

BRITNEY FUCKUPOMETER: CODE RED. When a judge decides that Kevin Federline is a more fit parent than you, you need help. Does this girl have no friends???